The "Glad Game"

There's so much I don't understand

That I'd change if I wrote the story

How pain could heal and death bring life

How defeat could bring such glory

You didn't hold back one breath

You even gave Your last one, so I'd live

Chorus:

It's beautiful to me

Your holy mystery

I'm standing here in awe

Of how You make everything

So beautiful to me

And someday I will see

How You hold this wounded heart

And make it perfect & complete

And it's beautiful to me

Beautiful to me

I don't deserve Your suffering

I should be the one who's bleeding

But Your broken body gives

This broken spirit what it's needing

You reached through time with Your sacrifice

Your wounded hands, holding this fragile life

Chorus

This ache, this longing

This heart that I've been searching

This moment while I'm praying...show me

Your plan, Your promise

A pain that has a purpose

Well, I let you in to use it

And just like Your hands built heaven's halls

You're making me so beautiful

Beautiful

It's beautiful to me

Every mystery

I'm standing here in awe

Of how You make everything

So beautiful to me

So perfect and complete

You warm this wounded heart

Someday I will see

And it's beautiful to me

Beautiful to me

Beautiful, beautiful

Beautiful to me 2x

Kerrie Roberts ~ Beautiful To Me

Album: Kerrie Roberts

Ok, so this song is just too beautiful to break up.  The main part that I want to talk about though is the first two lines of the song.  So simple, but if you think about it...so true.  If I had control, (not just the illusion of control), control every single thing that happened in my life, & I was able to redo things that went wrong in my life...would I?

Honestly, there are probably some things I would want to change.  I would probably make sure I kept my balance, & didn't fall into the big fountain we had in our front yard; the one that gave me a big, ugly fat lip & black & blue eye so swollen I could hardly open it.  Yes, I think I'd like to change that...  

BUT, now that I think of it...I was so blessed by my friends during that time, who (even though we were young...& I probably looked pretty weird) showed me such kindness, by telling me I looked beautiful, still asking me over to their houses for "play-dates", didn't stare, but didn't keep their distance.  That might not sound it should be a big deal...friends should do that anyway.  But for me it was a big deal.  I was about 8 years old, & I wasn't a pretty sight...honestly I wouldn't have blamed my friends if they wanted to keep their distance until I was better.  But instead, I was extremely blessed, & can now truly sympathize with people who have something deform their face (whether temporarily like mine, or permanently.)

Ok, so...I'd probably still let that happen to me...

But those times where I said or did something to hurt one of my friends.  I'd change those times!  BUT, if I did, I wouldn't be able to feel the forgiveness I received after apologizing...  Forgiveness that reminded me of what my Savior did for me.  Reminding me that I'm not going to be perfect, but that I can't use that as an excuse for sinning.

Ok, so...I'd probably keep those times as well...

I guess I'd say the same thing for the times that I wasn't respectful to my parents.  I've learned from those mistakes I made...& am getting better & better at keeping my frustration from getting the upper-hand.  I also know the importance of parenting, & am storing all this knowledge for when I become a mommy.

So...my list of "Things In My Past I'd Like To Change If I Could"...is getting smaller by the second as I think about it...

The only thing, I still think I'd change was...feeling way under the weather on my 16th birthday...that's just wrong...isn't it?  BUT...(you knew this was coming =) )  I guess that did show me that it doesn't matter about growing with age...what really matters is how you grow in the Spirit.  Instead of depending on worldly things to give me joy, I should be looking to Him to give me joy.  And reminding me not to take for granted the health & especially the life that I have, because there are some children who are sick on almost all their birthdays, with cancers, & tumors.  Some children don't even reach their 16th birthday.  I really have nothing to complain about, because I have the only thing that matters! A personal relationship with my Abba Father.

I'm not sure how many of you've read that book Pollyanna by Eleanor Porter.  But this sound very much like the "Glad Game".  Looking for the good out of not-so-good situations...

I know that I won't always see the big picture.  But my prayer is that when I do feel discouraged, that I lean on Him who gives me strength.  He who does see the big picture & knows exactly whats best for me.  I pray that we all trust Him druing these times.  Because He will allow us to go through struggles, but--as I've realized--even though we might not be able to see them at first...later we can see the amazing joys & blessings that came from those trials.

I LOVE hearing stories of how the Lord worked something that you thought couldn't get any worse, turn into something great.  If you have any stories like this...about yourself or others please share!!

Au Revoir...Until next time.  =)

Many Blessings!

Tiffani